(Diarrhea)

Diarrhea:
An ugly word to spell;
an even uglier one to expel.

Weeping Over Spilled Wee-Wee

Apparently, one of my co-workers
got into a pissing contest with herself in the bathroom stall
and lost.

If only she had mopped the floor with herself.

Don’t Sh!t on My Black Suede Shoes

Apparently, one of my co-workers
erupted in the bathroom stall,
her brown lava flowing freely
to the floor in the ladies room,
lying in wait to defile
the soles of my brand new
black suede slip-on pro Vans.

Gross Encounters of the Terd Kind

How does a grown woman
get poop on the outside of the toilet bowl
and smear her own feces on the washroom floor at work
and leave it?

(A splash of water)

A splash of water
does not a clean hand make, dear
lady of the john.

(Bumped from the bustling break room)

Bumped from the bustling break room
and relegated to the restroom, I wash my coffee mug in the bathroom sink
as my co-worker soils her toilet bowl.

(The courtesy flush)

The courtesy flush
acts as an air savior with
bidet behavior.