(woman in the stall)

woman in the stall

next to me smacking her gum

like a three year old

(wicked rump rupture)

wicked rump rupture
shocking as acupuncture
ladies’ room juncture

(sitting on the pot)

sitting on the pot
in a strange town -- suddenly
all the lights go out

Work Out Your “Bowelvation” With Rear End Trembling

There are few things
more satisfying
than a good poop.
Not the poop itself,
of course, but
the act of
eliminating
the dogged doodie.
After a good dump,
all seems right
with the world
(or at least
with your bowels).
You can breathe
deep again
and leave the can
with your shoulders back,
ready to take on
the next meeting,
class or diaper,
knowing that,
in the end,
things have a way of
working out.

(standing at the sink in the ladies’ room)

standing at the sink in the ladies’ room --
through the wall to the men’s room,
hearing things I don’t want to hear

Common Round (Rumpster Dumpsters "R" Us)

Taking a dump is a noisy occupation.
One cannot poop with dignity or decorum.
Your Ph.D., LL.D., M.A. or B.A.
amounts to a pile of B.S. when it comes to BMs.
On the throne, we are all the same --
all princes, all paupers, all poopers.
Sure, our performances may differ --
some may grunt, moan, sigh or groan --
but the delivery is the same.
And it's not pretty.
There's nothing cute
about dropping a load.
There's nothing suave
about pinching a loaf.
There's nothing dapper about the crapper.
But we've got to doo what we've got to doo.
On the john or on the loo, we are all average Joes
and Jane Does and that's just the way it goes.

(concert interrupt-)

concert interrupt-
ed by a sewage backup,
attendees aflush

The Courtesy Flush

It's a simple solution
to a terrible problem.
Once the baby ruth
has been delivered,
send that puppy home.
Why some folks
refuse to flush their
refuse and spare
the rest of us
their putrid fumes,
I have no clue.
I submit that public
restrooms must be
outfitted with gas
masks to counteract
the air quality offenses.
To such offenders, I
have only one plea:
Don't let your poo
stew under you.

Dangerous Delivery

sitting on the john
startled by the noises
in the stall next to me
praying that I don't get
splattered by the
bazooka pooper next door

(lost my appetite)

lost my appetite
waiting for the elevator
outside the restroom

(bathroom concerto)

bathroom concerto
simultaneous poopers
workplace harmony